


Tears

by moonwillow27458



Series: Things I posted on tumblr at 1am [24]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Canon Compliant, Caring Castiel, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Guilty Sam Winchester, M/M, Sad Sam Winchester, Season/Series 05
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-28
Updated: 2018-11-28
Packaged: 2019-09-02 00:10:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16775701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonwillow27458/pseuds/moonwillow27458
Summary: Sam slips out in the middle of the night. Castiel follows him to find him crying in a far corner of Bobby's garage.





	Tears

Sometimes Castiel regretted that he couldn’t sleep. He marvelled about humans, and how they could recharge themselves as easily as falling asleep; even if it wasn’t as instantaneous as the use of his grace, it was still amazing to him. It would also give him something to do while Dean and Sam and Bobby were asleep at night. Nothing was more painful than having to sit around and wait for them to wake up.

It seemed Sam already had, the younger Winchester passing through the kitchen and slipping out of the back door. 

Cas looked at the clock o the wall. It was early in the morning, too late for Sam to have not slept but too early for him to have woken up. So why was he awake? Curious, Castiel stealthily followed behind Sam, gliding along the floor to stay silent. He followed as Sam disappeared into the garage towards the edge of the scrap yard, where Bobby did most of his work in the winter. In the summer, it was barely used, but Sam still seemed familiar with the latch that caught and the stiff hinges.

Cas crept up to the outside, hoping to see or hear what Sam was doing. All he could hear was… crying.

“Sam, what’s wrong?” Cas asked, bursting through the door. Sam looked up, eyes wide and a gasp caught in his throat. There were tear tracks lining his cheeks and his eyes were red rimmed, like he had been crying for a while. He moved to wipe the tears from his face.

“Cas, what are you doing here?” Sam grunted, though his voice wavered like he could burst into tears again any second.

“I heard you crying, I wanted to see if you were alright?” Cas frowned. He took a step towards Sam, his arm outstretched to comfort him, but Sam took a good step back like he was avoiding Cas’ touch. Something clattered behind Sam, reminding Castiel that they were in a workshop rather than their home. “What are you doing in here, Sam? In the middle of the night?”

“I just- I come here to cry sometimes,” Sam said. He’d never sounded so defeated, not in the entire time Cas had known him. It was almost as if Sam was more ashamed of showing his emotions than anything else. “It just gets too much sometimes, you know? I have to- I have to.” His voice hitched again as another sob racked through his body, and so Sam took a seat on the pile of spare parts behind him.

“Why do you have to cry?” Cas questioned gently. 

He knelt in front of Sam, and this time he let Cas touch him. As Cas ran his hand down the side of Sam’s face, Sam seemed to lean into his palm. It occurred to Cas that Sam would have been touch starved, that he hadn’t been held lovingly in a long time. He felt Sam’s jaw jut, and so he lifted Sam’s face to look at him. There was a look of pure misery.

“I hate myself so much sometimes, Cas,” Sam whispered. “I know everyone else does too, even if they won’t say it. I caused all of this, and God I know everyone’s angry at me. But not like I’m angry at myself.”

“No one’s angry at you, Sam, no one hates you,” Cas narrowed his eyes. “Of course you’ve made mistakes, but you’re not the only one. You aren’t the only one who had a part in all of this either. You cannot blame yourself for something that was manipulated by Heaven and Hell.”

Sam laughed and buried his face in his hands. He let out a long, loud groan, barely muffled by his hands.

“I wish I could believe you,” he said. “I really do. But I can’t.”

“Then believe this." 

Castiel pulled Sam’s hand away from his face and leaned in. Sam held his breath, knowing what Cas was about to do. The angel pressed a gentle kiss to Sam’s lips, and for a second Cas felt Sam’s heart stop beating. He pulled away with a worried glance over Sam.

"That was- that was alright, wasn’t it?” He asked. Sam nodded, he smiled a watery smile and he nodded.

“Please do it again.” Castiel leant back in and kissed Sam again, this time with more passion. 

Sam had stopped crying.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed!
> 
> Please please give it a like or a comment!!
> 
> Cross posted on my [tumblr](http://benevolentsam.tumblr.com/post/165710925053/sometimes-castiel-regretted-that-he-couldnt)
> 
> Prompt me/talk Sastiel with me [here](http://benevolentsam.tumblr.com/ask)


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